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• Do you know what your real problem is?
• I think what’s actually going on here is… 68

10. Probing

Asking questions to gather facts or press for more information.
For example:
• When did you first realise that?
• What makes you feel that way?
• Why? How? What? When?

11. Reassuring
Can sound like sympathising or consoling.
For example:

• You poor thing, I’m sorry for you.
• Things aren’t really that bad.
• You will probably look back on this in a year and laugh.

12. Distracting

Tries to draw people away from what they are experiencing by humouring, changing subject or
withdrawing.
For example:
• Let’s talk about something else.
• You think you got problems. Let me tell you…
• The weather is really nice today!